


Finding my own Rainbow

by Awerka



Category: Original Work
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 21:23:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14923091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awerka/pseuds/Awerka
Summary: It's a story about everything you want in a story, based around the life of a uninspiring human with no real reason to be on this planet other then to suffer. Its a journey to find a rainbow in a world of serious darkness, a story of trying to understand how to live in a world that is rejecting you. It really is just a story.





	Finding my own Rainbow

**Prologue**

_Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do_  
_Before their time on this planet is through_  
_Some just don't have anything planned_  
_They hide their hopes and their heads in the sand_

 

What I have always wanted to do is tell a story.

It's a dream of mine to one day hold a published book in my hands, a book with my name in big on the cover even if I am the only person that will ever hold a copy. If I'm the only person who ever reads it or knows it exists, just writing it is a dream of mine. It is one of many dreams that I know will never come true, people like me never get to see their dreams come true no matter how small that dream is. Like normal people I have a lot of dreams, a dream job I am working towards getting, a dream man who won't give me the time of day and for good reasons. People say you have to work hard to get your dreams but nothing I do in my life is going to change the fact that I'm just one of those people for whom dreams are just dreams. 

No shooting star will ever fulfill my wish.

Back to the story I guess. I've spent most of my life since my mid-teens searching for this story. It had to be a story full of drama, love, dragons and magic, the kind of story that I love to read myself. You had to finish reading it and want it to continue no matter how satisfying the ending was, that made you believe in magic all over again and go out your front door and see the world in a new light. My head has been home to hundreds of characters... Barbarians, mutants, rebels, wizards and even paupers in disguise. All of them were trying to slay that pesky dragon, win the heart of their beloved or make a difference in the world, in other words they were just trying to live like any normal person in the world. Every single one of them had a wonderful story to tell which died as soon as my hand touched a keyboard or picked up a pen. All those adventurers died as fast as they were born.

Then it hit me. I have always known one character so well that they could never die on me, they had a story to be told that deserved to be heard and that I couldn't hide from or forget no matter how much I tried.

That character is me.

I know, I know, I'm not delusional. Trust me when I say I know I'm not the most interesting of protagonists. I'm not going to be the hero that saves anyone's day, there will be no sweeping of me off my feet, heck I couldn't even be the vendor that sells the actual protagonist any cool shit.

As I sit here writing this I'm a 29 year old with no real life, no friends and no real direction in life. I spend most of my life locked in my own personal hell that is my head. Talent was not handed out to me as I was born, I've worked hard to try and become talented in just about anything I could but I struggle no matter how hard I work. On the outside I look like a normal adult struggling to make ends meet and live life in a semi normal way, it looks like that because I don't like people seeing the real me.

You see I've realised a long time ago that my life isn't going to be interesting, I'm not really the main character of even my own story but it has everything a fantasy novel needs. Monsters lurking in the dark, quests that hardly ever end well and never give out enough experience points, love interests including a forbidden love, Prince's that would do anything for the Princess locked in the tower and woodland creatures ready to sing along with the first beautiful lady that comes skipping along singing in their woods instead of eating them.

Heartbreak, pain, brief glimpses of belonging and happiness, fleeting moments of feeling normal... They are all there.

On the outside I'm not the most interesting of people but I hide a story inside me that needs to be told.

So whilst my actual life can be summed up, well, as the above I'm going to take a leaf out of Edward Bloom's book and embellish it a little so that my story becomes a story you will want to tell your kids before bedtime.

I don't know how it ends, it probably won't have a good ending though, plus most of the story is yet to be written. I don't even know if I've actually met the main character yet and I doubt that a Knight in Shining Armour is going to come and save the day. I'll always be destined to be the face in the background of someone else's grand Fairy Tale.

This story is still mine though. This is the story of me trying to find my own Rainbow.


End file.
